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In SM, things are often happning on several diffrent levels at once. At one level, the dominant is selfish & cruel; at another the dominant is giving & nuturing.

For 30 or 40 years weve had safe calls, safe place meetings and safe words. Now you see that sort of thing pop up in mainstream media. When people hook up on Tinder, theyve learned to meet at a McDonalds or a coffee shop, and to have someone check in on them at certain times. Even Peter Griffin on Family Guy has safe words.

Kinky people who live without kink wont stop being kinky, theyll just be unhappy.